Episode 3: The Attack

: Please excuse my shameful behavior during episode 2. I'm quite composed now.

: I thought you were going to dry hump the TV every time Shuri came on. Please don't do that again.

: Yeah, but a guy like Shuri doesn't come along in every anime.

: He reminds me of Lantis from Magic Knights Rayearth, with the dark hair and tall build.

: Lantis is a loser. He is too skinny, too vague, and his voice is way too deep. He also has terrible taste in women, picking Hikaru of all people! Shuri, on the hand...

: [ Purposely changing the subject ] You know, Sarasa and Shuri have pretty good chemistry together.

: Shuri would have better chemistry with me. But yeah, I agree with you. They make a cute couple.

: So Sarasa's mother is still alive. I didn't notice her at all after the village raid.

: I wonder why General Khazan is being so nice to her. He looks so mean on the outside, but he's actually quite a softy.

: He's going to develop feelings for Sarasa's mother later.

: Really? Well, that's surprising, going after the mother of someone you killed.

: It's only in the manga, no da.

: Oh shucks.

[ silence for a few minutes ]

: I'm sorry to say, but those graves that old woman is making look like poop mounds.

: I can't believe how insensitive you are. But now that you mention it, they do look like poop.

: Ha! Ma-ku's mother is making Sarasa a poop mound! Right in front of her face too! If I was Sarasa, I would be offended: [ Imitating Sarasa ] "So this is what you think of me!"

: Mmm... Sarasa admits to herself that she's not convincing as Tatara. I bet the villagers know too, but they're just going along with it for the sense of security.

: I can't stand people like that. What a bunch of pathetic followers to constantly rely on a 15-year-old to save them. Sarasa should ditch them to the Red King and find some people who can value her as her true self, not as some legendary idol.

: And all of us didn't worship the dust on Miaka's feet?

: ...

: I didn't no da.

[ silence for a few minutes ]

: This story is turning out to be quite an epic. Not only does Sarasa/Tatara have to defeat the Red King, but she has to destroy all of the other color kings including the Emperor! How can 13 episodes show all that?

: It doesn't, no da. The anime ends early. If you want to know what happens later, you have to read the manga.

: Ah! I hate it when animation studios cop out like that!

: I just want to see more Shuri; 13 episodes is not enough.

: I want to see how Tatara and the Red King react when they find out who each other are.

: It's not pretty, no da.

: Okay, let's get back to the anime.

: Ha! Did you see how quickly Sarasa changed out of her Tatara costume after bumping into Shuri. She's like Superman. Instead of glasses, it's all about that green head-band.

: Don't Sarasa and Shuri look so sweet together? I want a pouch-necklace like that.

: Notice the amount of irony dripping from their conversation.

: Yeah, you can practically cut it with a knife. And did you guys notice the sexual connotations, with Shuri giving Sarasa his pouch of "seeds?"

: You've got a sick mind, Tasuki! That was meant as a charm to protect her. He didn't mean to figuratively "plant his seeds on her."

: Well, in a way he did, no da. It shows that Shuri has serious feelings for Sarasa, and that she's the woman he would seriously consider settling down with.

: Oh whatever, they've only met for like 5 seconds?

[ pause ]

: At last they mention the Sword of Suzaku. I know they wouldn't forget Suzaku.

: It is a popular legend, no da. Of course other anime use it too.

: Stop standing up for the competition, Cheech.

: We didn't mention this at the last episode, but some of Sarasa/Tatara's villagers have been captured by the Red King. Sarasa/Tatara is trying to save them.

[ silence for a few minutes ]

: Oh, look at cute Shuri waiting for Sarasa. What is that thing he's holding? It looks like a gypsy's headdress. I like the pouch-necklace better.

: Hey, the anime took my advice; Sarasa finally ditched those sorry villagers.

: Yeah, they were definitely a nuisance. This way she'll have more time to be alone with Shuri. ^_^

: Abandoning your people is not the sign of a good leader.

: But considering her inexperience and potential to attract the Red Army, Sarasa was wise to leave her people. She can grow and mature in the meantime, without endangering anyone else.

: Say, Sarasa looks pretty cute in a dress. She should wear dresses more often.

: Well, I for one thinks Sarasa's quite homely. Don't get me wrong, she's a really cool girl, but her looks have got to go.

: Indeed, Sarasa is more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside.

: Especially when she's in Tatara mode. I guess they have to make her look passable as a man and a woman, so she ends up plain ugly. She does look cuter in a dress though.

: I just have a problem with her unfortunate hair. It looks like a bunch of dry straw. Only girls on Jerry Springer have hair like that. I seriously want to jump into the TV and style it for her. She deserves better looking hair!

: Aren't we all fortunate to have great looking hair?

: [ Staring at Chichiri ] Yeah...

: Well, speaking of ugly, is Madame Butterfly a man in bad drag? He/she repulses me.

: That's definitely a woman. You're very bad at telling the sexes apart, Hotohori-sama. You thought I was a woman for the longest time.

: Everybody did, no da.

: Yeah, you can't look manly if your life depended on it.

[ pause ]

: So that's Shido. I didn't know they have glasses back then.

: It's actually the future, no da. Remember?

: Oh yes. Sorry. Sometimes this desert setting confuses me.

: Forget the glasses, I want Shido to explain those chains on his head. Don't they hurt? My hair would get caught in them all the time.

: I agree. Oh look, it's Ageha, without the turban!

: At least he knows he's not fooling anyone. With a character like Kicho...err...I mean Ageha, you know you're in shoujo territory.

: I'm not complaining.