Episode 2: My Enemy, the Red King

: The first episode was very good. I'm dying to see what will happen in this one.

: So do we all agree that this is a soap...err...shoujo?

: Let's not waste our time categorizing; just enjoy the show, Hotohori-sama.

: The episode title sounds promising. All about the Red King. He must be that cutie from the opening. I love his lustrous black hair. How did he grow up to be so gorgeous? He was such an ugly kid.

: Because this is a shoujo, and shoujos only recruit men of a certain bishounen pedigree. I know that guy. We both hail from the same school of dangerously-handsome leading men.

: Oh, lucky you. I had to go to the school of ambiguously-gay girly men with Quatre from Gundam Wing.

: So the Red King is also a Savior? Is he trying to kill Tatara so he can be the only Savior?

: No, the Red King hates prophecies, and wants to prove all these legends wrong. He doesn't believe in them. You see, that's the irony of it all. He tries to prove the prophecy wrong, but inadvertently awakens the true Savior. If he didn't kill Tatara, Sarasa would never get a chance to lead her people on the fact that she's a girl.

: Yeah yeah. Chill Chichiri. No need to give me a whole lecture.

: Poor Sarasa, I'm constantly yanking on my hanky for her. She lost her best friend, she lost her family, and now she's lost her village. Does the girl ever get a break?

: I can't believe Tatara's own girlfriend can't tell Sarasa apart from her brother. This is really pushing it.

: Hey, give the show a break. That Yunoka girl ain't too bright, okay!

[ pause ]

: They have a coliseum in Japan?

: Well, if the Red Army is going to steal their clothes from the Romans, they might as well take the coliseum too.

: Sarasa...err...I mean Tatara's plan to recover the Sword of Byakko is quite original. But I do wonder how she managed to herd a thousand cows into the coliseum.

: Who cares? This is anime, anything is possible. Oh look! The Red King. Damn those shadows. I want to see his eyes. [ Visibly swooning ] He has a good voice too.

: Here I thought you were rooting for Sarasa. A hot guy comes around and you're knocked senseless.

: Hey! I care about Sarasa too.

: You see how smart the Red King is? He knew he might have killed the wrong guy. So he intentionally stayed at the coliseum, displaying Tatara's head and the Sword of Byakko to lure Sarasa out.

: How come you never did anything clever like that, Hotohori-sama? Nakago was the only one pulling these schemes off. And he's the bad guy.

: I'm beautiful and nice. That should be enough.

: But the Red King looks good too, and he's smart.

: [ Whispering to Nuriko ] Personally I think Hotohori's obsession with Miaka sort of rotted his brain.

: You should talk. I saw what you did in the second OVAs.

: That was not me! Watase Yu totally fucked with my character. My body was being controlled against my will while I was screaming on the inside. Afterwards, I had to shower for 3 days straight just to get Miaka's stink off my body. [ Whispering ] I can't believe Tamahome and Hotohori actually enjoy being with that girl. You were so lucky to leave the show before Watase Yu put you in bed with her.

: Wow. I didn't know you had it so rough. I'm sorry to have brought it up.

[ pause ]

: Finally we are informed about the state of government in this post-apocalyptic Japan. I was becoming quite confused, with all this talk about Red King and Blue nobles.

: Yes, the kingdom is divided into four...

: Yeah yeah, Sarasa's grandfather just told us that. You don't need to repeat what he said. Now is it me or does the White King look like a woman?

: She is indeed a woman. It would be more correct to call her the White Queen, but just to be consistent...

: Oh hush! Hotsprings! I love hotsprings! Doesn't Sarasa looks so happy splashing in the water?

[ silence for a few minutes ]

: Well, that was cute. After all the killing, I wasn't expecting something funny to happen in this show. That shot of Sarasa and the horse is a tickler.

: The repartee between Sarasa and Shuri are amusing as well. But I don't understand the part about cucumbers. Is it suppose to be suggestive?

: It's just funny, no da.

: Ha ha! Sarasa's all pissed and flustered, but then when she's riding back, she has to go: [ Puts hands on cheeks ] Shuri...

: Shuri...

: I believe Nuriko has fallen under the same spell.

[ pause ]

: Man, Shuri is such a player. He barely met the girl and he's already inviting her over to his place. We know what's on his mind, that horny bastard.

: Shuri...

: We've lost Nuriko.

: There's that cucumber conversation again.

: Ha! I didn't know General Khazan can be so funny. "So the lady likes cucumbers?" Now that was suggestive.

: Shuri...

: Oh boy.